A Comrade In Need Is A Comrade Indeed

ruinedchildhood:

Reblogged from: spongebobssquarepants

dikubutto:

locked-n-lewded-requiem:

since “cage” is a last name and there are girls named “chastity” it would be theoretically be possible for a girl to be named chastity cage

Wake up babe new Austin Powers girl just dropped

Reblogged from: new-bitch-who-dis

androfembot:

waitingforminjae:

my dad, trying to explain the concept of money to me: say you have a sandwich, and i need your sandwich. but i don’t have anything to give you. you’re not just gonna give it to me.

me: i would just give it to you.

my dad:

in elementary school we had. basically an immersive economics lesson that was “playing City,” with different jobs and businesses; it was mostly semi-free time for socializing and selling/buying toys and snacks from each other. one of the lessons we were supposed to learn was the importance of paying a small amount of money into health and/or business insurance, because you had a chance of being hit with the Daily Disaster and a huge bill.

anyway, some kid who didn’t buy insurance got hit with a “medical bill” early on, so he was supposed to be bankrupt and have to sit the rest of the game out. the 8 year olds were not having it and spontaneously invented crowdfunding so he could keep playing with everyone else.

kids who don’t ‘get it’ are right, actually

Reblogged from: jelzorz

gaydoomer:

Hating religion is actually perfectly normal and healthy for gay people and you should be wary of anyone who tries to prevent you from criticizing religion/religious people’s actions. When gay people hate religion, it’s in the “we want to be treated like humans and have the right to live and exist like anyone else.” When religious people hate gays it’s in the “you should be tortured, outed, beaten, and murdered for your same sex attraction.” They’re not the same and I’m tired of this false equivalency. Gay people rightfully hating the people who oppress and kill us and try to wipe us from the globe is not in any way comparable to the people who do those things. Please stop pretending it is

Reblogged from: sick-sad-world-revolution-now

the-kestrels-feather:

funnytwittertweets:

Reblogged from: jelzorz

sootpologist:

sootpologist:

opened an epub of “unmasking autism: discovering the new faces of neurodiversity” by devon price and got punched in the face by the first paragraph. off to a great start

“Parents or grandparents who themselves have Autism spectrum traits dismiss the child’s complaints, claiming that everybody suffers from the social stress, sensory sensitivities, stomach issues, or cognitive fuzziness they themselves experience.“

this is hysterical to me because i read out a list of autism traits to my mother while fighting to get assessed and she said “well if that’s autism then i’m autistic too” with a straight fucking face

Reblogged from: elise-love-is-a-frog

apas-95:

the thing about italian food is that it kinda sucks when made in italy. the average italian cook is suffering under 300 different traditional family bylaws that prevent them from like, adding garlic to their sauce, or washing their vegetables or whatever. and if they were to move five kilometers away to the next town over then they’d be executed in the street for cooking it that way. when italians are released from the context of italy it’s like they’re taking off training weights. an italian cook with no limiters becomes a culinary apex predator. it’s for this reason that italian food has, outside of italy, become one of the big three cuisines, while remaining, in italy, frustratingly under-potential. it has to be this way.

Reblogged from: tsunderrated

ooccoo:

queerculus:

shoveling handfuls of baby carrots into my mouth after jerking off to create a pavlovian response that allows me to see fine details at 2 miles whenever I get an erection

Reblogged from: gorillagluegrower

elidyce:

writing-prompt-s:

You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.

I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.

The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.

It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”

People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”

“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “

“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”

That was true. I do bite.

Keep reading

Reblogged from: wearepaladin